Random Perverts
by dark-night-sky
Summary: Yaoi. NejiShika. The two are simply talking on the hill, but when they are caught chaos erupts between the girls. How will the two get out of it? And what does Neji want .... Oneshot


NejiShika

Pervert!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Shikamaru was lying down on the hill, staring up at the clouds with slight fascination and contentment. His favourite pastime could never get boring. Though lately, his partner had taken to joining him. He wouldn't say anything was particularly going on…though others might say different. He was never one to care about others though. He turned to the Hyuuga and nodded, getting a smile in return.

"Shikamaru."

"Neji."

That was always how it started; simple acknowledgement. Sometimes they'd go further into the conversation, having a light talk, or an in-depth discussion. Neji once told him about his father before he died. They spent about two hours talking about anything Neji could remember about him, though it was more of Neji talking and Shikamaru listening. They'd talked about their childhood, who Shikamaru and Chouji had become friends, about how Neji managed with Lee and Ten-ten; everything that they could think of talking about they'd talk about. Then it came to relationships.

"Sorry about … last time," Neji hadn't come back very happy with some of the girls.

"It's alright, I'm hear to listen," which was true, the shadow nin had sat and listened to Neji pour his guts out about Ten-ten and Hinita. The two had somehow come to the conclusion that Neji and Ten-ten were going out; which of course, wasn't true. So when the whole of the little gossip group started questioning the Hyuuga about it, he'd snapped and told them all he was gay.

"Thanks … you always do that; listen to me whenever I need to vent." Shikamaru smirked at that one.

"You listen to what I say too, might as well re-pay the dept." The two sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Neji sitting up cross-legged and Shikamaru in his typical lazy pose. The silence got slightly thicker at one point, but they paid no attention to the source, until the silence thickened still.

Shikamaru sighed and glanced at the bush behind Neji slightly. "What's with them?" Neji looked at his friend and shrugged.

"Goodness knows. They are girls," The two paused, a long silence passing threw the air until Shikamaru shot up and looked at the white eyed boy, eye twitching slightly.

"You don't think they …" the Hyuuga's eyes narrowed slightly, straining his eyes for the whispers and giggles.

"They couldn't …"

"They wouldn't …"

The giggles turned into light hushing, and the two snapped their heads round to the bush, before the girls fled, laughter filling the air. Shikamaru lay back down angrily with a frown on his face and glared at the sky, a slight tinge in his cheeks. Neji turned his head in the opposite direction of Shikamaru, a defined frown, and a mixture of embarrassment, guilt and anger. After a few moments of deafening silence, Neji looked at the grass and his head shrunk into his shoulders.

"S-Sorry … it's my fault really… if I hadn't told them-"

"Idiot, it has nothing to do with that, they're girls, it's what they do," he scoffed and sat up, resting on his arms. "Such troublesome creatures." Neji smiled slightly with tainted pink cheeks.

"You're right; they are…" another few moments of silence followed until Neji stood up, Shikamaru looking up with a questioning gaze. "I have to go…I can't believe I have to attend the stupid main house meetings."

"Good luck with that…" Shikamaru said, lying down again. Neji winked and grinned.

"Don't miss me too much!" and with that he was gone, leaving a red Nara to think on the grass, though this time, his mind was blank.

Zzz

"N-Nejini-san…ano…" Neji smiled warmly at his cousin. How could he have used to hate her? Though her stuttering problem needed to be sorted out. "I hate to be such a b-bother…but…you see, Ten-ten and S-Sakura s-said something and I was just … just wondering if it was… t-true." A slight twitch started in Neji's eyelid.

Taking in a large breath, he turned fully to the shy girl and answered. "No Hinita-sama. Whatever they said, I'm sure it's not true. If it had Shikamaru in it, it is even less likely to be true…what exactly did they say?"

"Ano…They said that…y-you and Shikamaru-san w-were on the hill … and t-they think you two a-are…well…" she looked up at her cousin, and flushed at the raised eyebrow. "Ino had g-gone to t-tell Couji-san … and Ten-ten was about to g-go and tell…Lee and Gai-sensei."

Neji's world imploded. He could imagine it now. The lectures. The craziness. The illogical, booming and joyful voice of his friend and teacher. The hell he was going to put Ten-ten through when this was all over. He looked at the younger Hyuuga, who was giggling. He loved it when she smiled; especially when he helped, like he was slowly washing all the pain he put her through away.

"What is it Hinita-sama?" He asked as the girl tried to stop her giggling.

"Sorry Nejini-san, it's just …" she paused, giggling again. "It's so cute."

Neji's world exploded.

Zzz

The lazy nin walked through the streets of Konoha, sighing irritated at a few girls who passed and giggled. So maybe it was slightly Neji's fault, but he wasn't one to complain, girls always blew things out of proportion. When he spotted Chouji, the boy almost dropped his crisps.

"S-Shikamaru!" this wasn't his day.

"What's wrong Chouji? You look like you've seen a ghost…what did Ino say?" Chouji grabbed his best friend's shoulders, grinning.

"I'm so happy for you Shikamaru! At last, you have someone who might get you motivated to work, I mean, the Hyuuga's are a very hard working family-"

"Couji."

"And you two go well together, I mean, you might actually have a rival for shoji. Isn't it wonderful?"

"I don't go out with Neji." Couji paused and frowned, gripping his friend's shoulders.

"But Ino said that you two where having a romantic moment on the hill." Normally, Shikamaru would calmly remind his friend that Ino was a girl; and came up with stupid things.

"She WHAT?!" this wasn't normally. Chouji suppressed a grin at the colour of his friend's face. He'd never seen this reaction, even once. "How could she have said that? Can't a man just sit in the company of a FRIEND without some troublesome woman coming along and being such a … such a … such a _GIRL_?" Chouji burst out with laughter. Though this was slightly scary that is usually lazy friend was actually showing emotion, it wasn't the first time. When Naruto's cat started attacking the boy, the Nara had refused to speak to Naruto until he'd disposed of that 'sorry excuse for a living thing'. This time, he was getting fussy over a person. Girls often did that with their crushes.

"Where is she? I'm going to go round their and kick her butt!" Chouji pointed in the direction of the flower shop, and his companion vanished. Chouji started to follow, picking up his crisp packet, and munching happily.

Zzz

Gai and Lee gaped at Ten-ten, as the female ninja told them of the wonderful, and probably excessively, story of their fellow ninja and friend. She said of how the two were snug on the hill; true, holding hands; not so true, having a romantic moment. They were interrupted as the object of their conversation burst into the room, panting slightly with a flushed face.

"Stop … right there!" He said between pants, bending down to regain his breath. He'd run all over town trying to find the three. He glared at Ten-ten making her squeak and hide behind Gai.

"Gai-Sensei!" she yelped as the angered Hyuuga charged for her half-heartedly, Lee holding him back.

"Get off me! I need to teach that idiot a lesson!" Gai cupped both of Neji's hands in his own tightly, tears streaming down his cheeks. Neji stopped and looked at the elder man fearfully. "G-Gai-sensei?"

"Neji! I think it's wonderful! Don't hide you're love; you must show it boldly and proudly! For you are in the spring of youth! The Love of youth! Grasp this opportunity and fly!" Neji was ignoring Gai, and glaring at Ten-ten, but when Lee joined in…

"I…can't …breath!" Lee had grasped him in one of the biggest bear hugs in the world.

"Gai-sensei's words are of truth. Neji! You must listen to him, for he is never wrong!"

Neji got out of the boy's grasp and turned to them both, hands held out for protection. "Ok. Point one…" the two leaned in closely, "I am not in a relationship with anyone."

"Don't deny it Neji! We don't mind if you're preferences are with Shikamaru; love knows no bounds!"

"You make me proud, my wonderful student!" Neji stepped back, blushing furiously.

"I'm not in a relationship!"

"So you don't deny the Shikamaru-thing?" Ten-ten asked, getting a full blown glare directed at her. "I'll shut up now…"

"Ok, let me explain. Shikamaru and myself are friends; that is all. We often sit on the hill and hang out, as friends do. There is nothing going on."

"So you're not together?" Ten-ten asked, Neji shook his head. Gai got Neji in a headlock.

"You should grasp this young man in front of you and take him Neji!" That came out worse than it was meant to be, it must've done. "You cannot let anything stand in the way of your burning love for him!" that one was just Neji translating it wrong…it must've been.

"Argh! Nara isn't even gay! What do you think I'm doing? Waiting around to waste time? How the hell do I ask him out if he doesn't like GUYS!" He'd done it again, gone and blurted something out accidentally. The three gapped at him, before Ten-ten leaped into action.

"That changes everything! I have to find the others," and once again, Neji was on a hunt for Ten-ten, his team mates following him closely.

Zzz

"INO!" The blonde flinched at the loud, angry yell from the shop door, Sakura jumped and looked at the offending person, who dared try to break her ear drums. The two wanted to die right there and then. "What the hell have you done!?" Loud…angry…violent…dangerous…

"S-Shikamaru-kun! It's so nice to see yo-"

"Don't give me that crap!" He boomed, making the girls jump out their skins.

"W-Well, you see…I umm…WE… we … erm…" she looked around for an escape rout, not willing to stay here with the angry genius.

"You what?" That was quieter and demanding than the last one.

"Sakura-chan will explain!" Ino said, waving her hands around. The pink haired girl looked on in horror at the boy in front of her.

"Well…you see…" she looked anywhere but the door, before pointing a finger in Ino's direction. "It was her idea!" The blonde backed away, large round eyes.

"WHAT! It was your idea as much as mine!"

"What are you talking about, I had nothing to do with it!"

"Yes you did! It was you and Ten-ten!" The two paused before turning to Shikamaru with definite expressions.

"It was all Ten-ten's fault!" They chorused, hands in fists. Shikamaru's eyes twitched before he had a big pat on the back, turning around, he saw Kiba with Shino behind him.

"Shikamaru! We heard the news, congratulations are in order!" Shikamaru didn't say anything; he was frozen to the stop.

"W-What!" oh, how news travelled fast.

"Shikamaru! How come you guys didn't tell me? I'm so happy for you!" He was stunned as a hyperactive blonde jumped on him with a large hug.

"Hey, how far have you guys gone, you can't tell me you're lazy with such a hot guy at your disposal?"

"You never know, he might be the one at Neji's disposal." Shikamaru thought his head was going to explode. It pounded and he could tell that heat was pouring off his face.

"Aw, he's shy!" The two laughed loudly, and Shikamaru didn't say anything. He just stood there, beat red; speechless. He looked over as his best friend came into the scene, with a recovered bag of crisps. He looked helplessly at the brunet. His brain wouldn't work, despite his IQ levels. The situation became worse when a girl rushed passed him into the flower shop.

"Ino, Sakura! I've got bad news! The two aren't going out, Neji just told me he had a crush on Shikamaru; he's just too scared to act on it!" Shikamaru could no longer feel his head.

"Shikamaru-kun! We have been told of your youthful bond between you and Neji!" Shikamaru couldn't feel anything. He looked up as everything went quiet, only to be met with two white eyes. He wished the ground would open up and swallow him.

Everyone had thought the two had been going out

Kiba and Naruto had thought the two had gone far

Ten-ten had just announced loud enough for everyone to hear that Neji had a crush on the Nara.

Neji had just appeared, completely oblivious to the last point.

"N-Neji!" Shikamaru squeaked helplessly, unsure of whether to be pleased, or terrified. The Hyuuga looked at the brunet, before looking at everyone else in the door of the flower shop, a puzzled expression on his face.

"What's going on…" he dared, looking for answers. He only got questions.

"You like Shikamaru?"

"How long for?"

"Are you going to ask him out?"

"So you're seriously gay?"

"Ano sa! Neji! Why didn't you tell us?"

"Help me…please?" The look on the Nara's face was too cute to deny. Neji looked at the faces that were circling him, Ino, Sakura, Naruto, Kiba, Lee. And that cute little Nara. Neji blushed and stepped back slightly, giving Shikamaru a look that clearly said 'you owe me one'.

"Yes, a while, no, and yes … and … I don't know, I've only just noticed myself."

"So much for genius." Shikamaru frowned at the comment from Ino and pointed at her.

"Neji is a genius! Don't insult him!" Neji slumped slightly; Shikamaru had no idea what he'd just done.

"Oh! Shika-kun! Why didn't you tell us you liked him! It's so cute!"

"Oh my gosh! Neji, come here!" Neji stumbled as the girls dragged him and stood him next to Shikamaru, effectively making them blush.

"Aw! It's so cute! They're growing up so quickly! Next thing you know they'll be getting married!" Neji and Shikamaru jumped five meters apart, turning so that their backs were to each other. Kiba walked up to Shikamaru and patted his shoulders, steering him towards the Hyuuga, Naruto doing the same thing with Neji. Then, there was a line of young ninja and one older one, staring intently at the two, who were looking anywhere but the other.

"Shikamaru! Don't make me come over there!" Hissed Ino, making him glare at her.

"Neji! Grasp this chance; tell him of your love!" Neji shot a dangerous look at his rival, not pleased. The two stood there in a very awkward silence as the others stood, watching them.

"Umm…can't you guys like…leave or something?" the long haired male asked. Shino, understanding the pain the two must be going through, grabbed Naruto by the collar of his shirt, and Kiba's hold, and dragged them down the street with some protesting. Gai; being the mature, responsible adult he was, pushed Ten-ten and Lee away from the scene. Chouji managed to somehow lure the two girls away, making them complain. Shikamaru dared to look at Neji, though the white eyes that locked his gaze made his head turn.

"So…"Shikamaru started, nervous at the situation.

"Err…S-Shikamaru?" The younger of the two looked up, a slight glint in his eyes.

"Yeah?" Neji coughed slightly to fill the silence.

"D…Do you want to … I don't know … got out sometime- like, for lunch or something?" Shikamaru couldn't help the grin that found it's way to his face.

"Sure, why not?" this made Neji smirk, getting his confidence back a little. "How about sometime this weekend, I don't have any missions yet," even if he did, he could always call them off.

"Cool, it's a date."

Zzz

Shikamaru took in a large breath of the clean air and looked up at the clouds, smiling in content. What a strange, overly done, troublesome week. The results? A few troublesome girls, asking him random questions, a troublesome mother fussing and prodding him, a messed up boyfriend who needed to get his superiority problem fixed.

Life was good.

"Shikamaru," he heard the sing song voice of the familiar boyfriend approach him.

"What do you want?" Neji chuckled and lay, propping himself up on his side with his elbow.

"What makes you think I want something?" Shikamaru gave Neji a look. "Can I not come out here to share sometime with my koi?"

"In your case, no. What do you want?" Neji leant down and positioned himself above the other shinobi, cheeks touching, his free hand beside Shikamaru's far shoulder, his other arm keeping his weight, and his leg moving over the Nara's thigh. "You so want something. See, I was right."

"Ne…Shikamaru-kun," Neji purred into the other's ear, sending shivers down his spine. "Have you ever considered…bondage?"

Neji watched, holding his cheek as Shikamaru stormed off down the hill, muttering something about perverts and troublesome _idiots_. Neji sighed and flopped back.

"Did he need to slap me that hard?"

Zzz

Kitty: Intended drabble, about the last scene … but I kind of got caught up in the moment 

R+R …

Ciao

Kitty


End file.
